i'm signing you up for texting rehab
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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