so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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