Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize