meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
