If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
