So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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