R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
