ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This house was built for laser tag.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
