problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
is that a dick in a sweater?
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