I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
