i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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