It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
