I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
