Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
