Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
