It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
