Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
