I need help removing her.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
