just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
