Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
