dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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