They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
