i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I will pee on everything he values.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
