so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i think my cat just said my name.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
