i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize