Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
