Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
