I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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