Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
