Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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