But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
