Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
