i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize