conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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