I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
