new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
