i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
