umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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