just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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