I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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