I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
