Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
