That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
