I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
