What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
