one two three fourrrrnication!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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