we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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