I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Couch. On fire.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
