so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
