so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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