I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
