Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
