help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
