Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
false alarm. still invincible.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
