All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize