Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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