i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
