Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
