Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
