Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
