why didn't you poke me back
This is not my ceiling
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
